***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
