The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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