gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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