I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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