I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
