I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
