I puked a lego.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
