I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
