Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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