Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
