If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
