you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
