so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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