your room smells of hookers.
And success
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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