I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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