is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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