i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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