I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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