Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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