Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
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