stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
