so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
