super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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