dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
