please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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