Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize