I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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