he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
