At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
