covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
