You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
