just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
