well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
