the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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