Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
These tits shall not be calmed
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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