Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Alive.
So much puke
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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