Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
