how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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