How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
