maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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