I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
