I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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