Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
babies were throwing up all over the place
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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