So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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