i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
