I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
