She said her name was "party"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
