..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
