No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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