how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
