I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
