i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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