U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
